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[personal profile] percygranger
Usually I don't think of an empty page as scary, but here we are, six months (bar twenty days) from my last post. It was a good post, at least. I liked it on the reread. And now the page is no longer entirely empty but still mostly so. It's intimidating, makes me want to stop.

Good thing I've been dealing with my anxiety since puberty, eh?

Sometimes I think stubbornness is close to godliness, in an anxious person. Just keep going, do the thing, don't stop, and then terrifying things happen, but they're usually something you want on some level, underneath that fear.

I just watched a youtube video dealing with this situation: someone checking in after a nebulous time away, and he made a very interesting point: people just want to know you're alive and doing cool stuff. So, I will attempt that. 

A) Obviously alive, what with the posting. Yay living...  

B) Cool stuff. Oh gosh, there goes my self-effacing barrier... -attempts to work around it- (usually the best way is find the things I'm personally enthused about, then I forget to brush them off as nothing)

I'm...testing a knit pattern for cabled legwarmers! They're awesome, classic, even. Here, have a link: Earth Mama Legwarmers. Testing it means I got the pattern in pre-release, for free. I just have to complete them in a certain amount of time, and give feedback, which hey, beta senses ftw! Also I really like the pattern, have I mentioned?

I'm also writing up my deck of tarot cards! They've been my saving grace of words the past two months. Alas, I'm running out soon, but I've really enjoyed learning about the symbology of the tarot deck, as well as practicing my descriptions. I really like describing things. My most recent card was the Princess (Page) of Wands (new things, movement of body/soul, the perils of being a newbie), which fits in nicely with...

I'm attempting to resurrect my giant 27k fic I mentioned in my January post? I kind of got lost on the ending, and have no idea what I'm doing with the climax (I've never had to write one that's not, er, sexual?), but I'm doing the WIP BB on LJ, and prodding myself towards the finish line. Hopefully with art at the end, who knows? I've never done a big bang before. Never thought I'd write anything long enough to qualify! -laughs semi-hysterically- Er, so yeah. Good luck to me...

On the travel front, I'm determined to go see my friend numberthescars next month! I sort of procrastinated out of it for this month (darn airline prices favoring the prepared), but I am really looking forward to it. I've found travel is actually pretty enjoyable if you have a companion you like. My results as a young person were definitely mixed, what with the large amount of adult supervision and/or family that it entailed. 

Oh oh! I've volunteered to be an experimental subject! For brain research about personalized treatments for mental health! It's ridiculous, perhaps, but I have a...thing about being experimented on, a good thing. One might even call it a kink. >.> I'm not telling the experimenters this. Also I get paid for my time? And an MRI scan of my brain for free? Seriously, it's like win/win/win...

Finally, I've juuuust gotten over 12 days (!) of being sick with a head cold. Gah. That was miserable. And of course, on the last day...I pull a muscle on/around my rib. So now I have that lingering pain to deal with. It's better than yesterday though. Yesterday was a 5-7 on that scale of 1-10 medical people give you. Today is more a 3-4. Hooray for rest and healing and my brains no longer attempting to leave through my sinuses anymore. 

And there you have it. I'd promise not to leave it so long again, but heaven knows how I figure these things. Time has never been my strong suit. So, I'll just say... Until we meet again, my friends.
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